i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
