oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
