Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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