I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
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I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
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I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize