well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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