Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
my poor anus
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
