i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
