tell your sister to shave her snatch
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
