He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
