the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
