Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
