I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
