I just made out with a guy for $7.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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