All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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