Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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