Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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