I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
