I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
