You made me cry and you don't even care
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
