I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
