i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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