I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
