Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize