New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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