I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Mom said you looked used
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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