you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
