we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
