sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
