after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
