This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
