She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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