I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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