Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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