We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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