If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
