here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Boobs are out for the taking
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
