why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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