Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
