if i can run in heels then i can drive
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
