I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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