Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
