I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
