.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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