now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
