Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
