She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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