Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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