I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
