have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
