This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
