roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
