just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
