i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
