talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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