Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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