1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
