Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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