What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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