if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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