How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
