shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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