you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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