This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
