Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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